Bureaucrat M K Kaw Pens Anthology of Satire
A collection of humorous and witty pieces written during a span of four decades by M K Kaw, a senior IAS officer, has been turned into a satirical book, Kaw Caw Silly Point: A wonky look at Contemporary India.
The book was released by senior politician and MP, Murli Manohar Joshi here late last evening. Kaw, who has previously penned Bureaucrazy Gets Crazier (2012), meanders across realms of wit and sarcasm and knocks down individuals and institutions with merry abandon in the book published by Konark Pvt Ltd. Kaw Caw Silly Point sees him lampooning 'netas', 'babus', 'jarnails', Kashmiris, the generation ill at ease with gizmos and gadgets and the ageing Methuselahs obsessed with disease and death. "The book is a collection of articles which I've written over four decades. I started writingKaw Caw as a column in 1982 for the Times of India and later for other newspapers. 'Silly Point' is more recent, I started writing a monthly column in 'G-Files', a special magazine about governance issues in India", M K Kaw said. The bureaucrat has worked closely as a cabinet secretary with Joshi during his tenure as the Human Resource Development Minister, launching vital schemes like the 'Sarva Shiksha Abhiyaan'. It was during this time that government proposed a reservation for Kashmiri Pandit students in management and engineering colleges. "This book is more about India, the entire wit and humour gives you a picture of the society, of economy and the politics. He is presenting through the art of wit and humour a wonky look at contemporary India", the senior BJP leader said. "Mr Kaw is not only a person with wit and humour in writing, but also in organizing the release of the book, where he invited me, a very non-humorous person to launch a very witty book, this I think is one of the biggest satire," Murli Manohar Joshi said. Engaged with the task of choosing his best pieces for this anthology, the author said he selected his works on the basis of the impact they could have on him even today. "My acid test was simple. Did the piece even after efflux of time bring a smile to my face or create a ripple in my heart? If it did, it was in," revealed the author. According to the author, the best pieces in every book of humour tend to the personal pieces; about husbands and wives, sons and daughters, which makes them universal in application and eternal in their relevance. Although being a bureaucrat may seem to have given the author a solemn face, his writing brings forth a different side of him altogether. "A lot of people may question that how such a serious looking person can be humorous and witty. They don't see that I'm chortling away inside; they don't see that I'm a humourist at heart," the author said. However, the art of humour has been with the author ever since he was a young boy, merely an 8 year-old when he first started penning satirical poetry, the first being about a sturdy truck driver. "I always end up seeing the incongruous in things around me. As an IAS officer I saw things around me which could be seen as either frustrating or humorous. I choose the latter," Kaw said. Acknowledging the risque factor involved in writing satire, Kaw admits to having been in trouble in his early days as a bureaucrat, almost costing him his job. But with time he says, his humour has been accepted as a non abrasive way of expression. "In this country, people are super sensitive with respect to trifles. One has to be cautious that one is not dragged to a crimnal court for defamation; we've seen what happened to a certain individual recently. One has to be careful, that one doesn't fall foul of some religion, or some sensitive organisation may force the publisher to withdraw the book from the market, or burn copies of the book in public," said the author of over two dozen books. The guest speaker for the launch, Moti Kaul, President of All India Kashmiri Samaj pointed to the two types of satire; one which involves sarcasm, the under the belt barbs and the other funny, sharp, humorous pokes. "There is another type of satire which always interests me and I enjoy is a bit of humour and a lot of anecdotes and at the end of it a clear message," Moti Kaul said. The book might take on politicians from every corner, yet Murli Manohar Joshi deemed this as necessary 'tonic' for the betterment of country's administration both political and executive. "I'm very happy that you've continued to expose the weaknesses of India, the weaknesses of its political and bureaucratic and economic systems and also its societal systems. Please continue to crow and as harshly, try to be always a tonic both for the bureaucracy, the politicians and would be a tonic for the next generation as well", Joshi said.
FILED ON: JUN 28, 2014 14:14 IST
FILED IN: HUMAN RESOURCES DEVELOPMENT | LITERATURE | BUREAUCRACY | J&K: KASHMIRI PANDITS--THE FORGOTTEN PEOPLE | MURLI MANOHAR JOSHI
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|
Saturday, 16 August 2014
PTI report on release of Kaw Caw as published in Outlook
Friday, 15 August 2014
review of Kaw Caw Silly Point by Shriniwas Joshi
|
Maharaj Krishen Kaw is a
name in Himachal Pradesh (See photo). He was the Deputy Commissioner of Solan
and Kangra districts and held important portfolios as secretary to the
government. He left an imprint everywhere superannuating as secretary. He is
a prolific writer. “Kaw Caw-Silly Point’ completes the silver jubilee of his
books (See photo).
“Kaw Caw Silly Point” is
an anthology of essays already published in two journals – Naad and G-files.
Kaw writes, “It is an anthology of the best pieces I had written, whether
under these bylines or otherwise.” There are seven parts in the book with 62
essays. But there is a Part Zero too with only one essay “Uncage the Parrot,
if it Pleases Your Lordship.”
The heading is enough to
disclose the contents, so I am not delving on it. The entire book is so
interesting that I read it in one sitting. Jug Suraiya, associate editor of
The Times of India, comments, “MK Kaw’s book is funny, insightful and
topical. Buy it, read it. It’ll make you chuckle and think at the same time.”
Kaw is Kashmiri so 10
essays in Part Three of the book deal with Kashmiris and their lifestyle.
Kashmiri Pandit prefers to call himself batta. Kaw says that there are around
seven lakhs battas and only 5000 out of them still live in the valley. We, in
Himachal, have surnames Janartha, Nainta, etc as they are progenies of
Janardan or Naina.
The surnames of Kashmiri
Pandits have sprung from the personal appearance of the originator of the
family. If he is black, then his progeny is Kaw; if brown Kachroo; if yellow
Gurtoo; if six-fingered Shangloo. If he looked like a sheep, he was called
Handu; if bald Ganjoo. Kaw writes: “The Mattus managed maths, the Haks grew
the famous vegetable and the Hashias were specialists in the art of drawing.”
He digs at IAS brethren:
“What was once hailed as the Steel Frame started rusting by and by. Today it
is known more as the Still Frame, on account of its lack of movement and
dynamism.” There are engrossing episodes of how he was miraculously cured of
piles by a Sardarji; how his costly Hush Puppy shoes, a pair gifted by his
daughter, were fleeced when he had gone to attend a Shanti Path; and how he
learnt to use the computer and ultimately believed that ‘Internet was God.’
Kaw has been hailed for
impeccable English in his earlier works by Khushwant Singh and Shobhaa De.
The present book is full of sparks of good English. He writes in ‘The Channel
Chase’; “Since the time we won the freedom of the skies, life has become a
frenetic channel chase.” The conclusion of this essay is a lesson for Gen-Y.
He says that today the majority of households boasts of TV sets, tablets and
i-Pads. Each member has access to the programme of his choice in his own set.
I and I is the slogan. The concept of sharing is almost forgotten.
The book ‘Kaw Caw Silly
Point’ is published by ‘Konark Publishers, New Delhi’ and paper-bound edition
costs Rs.250 only. It is a possession worth the money for the shelf of every
book-lover.
TAILPIECE
The waist-size of a
person should decide one’s honesty. Dishonest, if it is between 35 and 40
inches; very dishonest, if it is between 40 and 50 inches; dishonest to the
core, if it is above 50 inches. — Kaw Caw
******************* |
Review of Kaw Caw Silly Point by Ram S Varma
From Kak Bhushundi to Kaw
by RAM VARMA
_____________________________________________________________
Kaw Caw Silly Point, A wonky look at contemporary India
M. K. Kaw, Konark Publishers, New Delhi
_____________________________________________________________
It is believed that during his wanderings in the Himalayas after renouncing the world, Sant Tulsidas met
Kak Bhushundi, the mythical sacred crow to whom god Shiva had related the story
of Lord Rama. Kak Bhushundi related the immortal tale to Tulsidas during his
visitation, who thus divinely inspired, wrote his classic epic poem, Ramacharitamanas, dwelling in his straw
cottage on the Ganga at Varanasi
Kashmiri Pandits trace their lineage from the Vedic rishis who lived on the banks of the
fabled River Saraswati and claim to be Saraswat Brahmins. Due to violent tectonic
activity and upheavals in the catchment basin of the river at the beginning of
the 2nd millennium BC, the major tributaries of the Saraswati, the Sutlej and the Tons diverted their course, and the mighty
river began to shrivel and dry up. The rishis,
who were left high and dry, migrated to the north in Punjab and Kashmir and to the
east along the banks of the Yamuna and the Ganga – to Varanasi
Kaw had a distinguished career in the IAS, serving in
various capacities in Delhi
The present book is kind of a bouquet of the choicest
flowers from his regular columns. It is filled with the heady perfume of seasonal
blooms as well as the wafting fragrance of the perennials.
Kaw’s opening
gambit is generally innocuous. Take this piece on “Who am I”. He begins with a
simple statement – ‘India
Believe me, it is impossible to recreate the true
flavor of Kaw’s scintillating pieces in a review as even the best paraphrasing
of great poetry can never replicate the joy of the original. He has the faculty
of immaculate conception and neat delivery; has a knack for inimitable coinage,
like ‘Vadrakadabdra’ and ‘chiaroscuro of demagoguery’. The book is replete with
aphorisms:
‘Periods of
high economic activity also witness higher levels of corruption’.
‘Every decision taken is a risk undertaken.’
‘Promptness in decision-making is fraught with danger
– speed is always suspect.’
‘The problem with Bapu is that he is easy to
caricature and copy’.
‘Arvind Kejriwal should stop saying that he is an aam aadmi. He should lay claim to being
a khaas aam aadmi.’
‘All candidates named in various scams should be
denied tickets. Tickets may instead be given to their wives or mistresses.’
‘With each passing day Advani looks more and more like
a dissolute Nawab past his sexual prime.’
‘Ashok Khemka exhibits none of the normal traits of
cowardice and pusillanimity so characteristic of his tribe.’
‘Vinod Rai is the first CAG to give us a really
worthwhile scam with a respectable world-class figure of Rs 1,75,000 crores.’
‘Manmohan
appears Sphinx-like to let the latter day oracles of Delhi
Kaw’s comment on Anna Hazare’s fast will remain a
masterpiece: ‘Government was so bedazzled they resorted to the unprecedented
stop of constituting a Group of Ministers to negotiate the provisions of the
Lok Pal Bill with Team Anna. It was almost reminiscent of the Cabinet Mission’s
parleys with the Indian leaders about the grant of freedom to India
The list is endless. You stumble on gems everywhere,
on Mayawati’s million elephants, and occasionally on a landmine that blows you
up. I began by saying that his book is bouquets of flowers; one can also
describe it as ‘A hornets’ nest’ or ‘The witches’ cauldron’.
The imaginative cartoons embedded in the text heighten
the reader’s pleasure.
*************************
A Good Fall
Kaw caw
A Good Fall
The other
day, Avatarji and I were strolling casually in the Ornamental Park, Greater
Kailash-I. A gentle breeze fanned our cheeks and the birds twittered in the
trees. Everything seemed to be exuding peace and harmony. There was not the
tiniest wisp of impending danger.
Suddenly,
Avatarji slipped. His foot unexpectedly fell into the crevice between the
pavement and the hedge. In front of my eyes bulging with horror, his tall frame
seemed to fall sideways in slow motion, his descent decelerated by the thick, bushy , luxuriant foliage. I tried to come to his rescue by
making a desperate lunge at his receding sleeve. Luckily, I did not connect, or
else I would have also fallen, perhaps on top of him.
Some walkers
tried to see what was happening. Most were just on-lookers, with no plan of
action. One middle-aged lady noticed that I was no good as a saviour and my
intervention might make the situation worse. She bent down and caught hold of Avatarji’s arm. He
continued to fall slowly but the momentum was noticeably reduced.
I could see
with a sense of horror that Avatarji’s totally bald pate was moving inexorably
towards the iron grill that protected a growing tree. Had the collision taken
place with any strength or power, his head would have split open and he would
have suffered all the trauma of a head injury with concussion.
Luckily, the
timely intervention by the middle-aged lady
saved the day. Avatarji’s head reached close to the grill, but did not
touch it.
Meanwhile,
other people had reached the spot, and their combined effort brought Avatarji
back on his feet.
“Thank
God!”, I exclaimed.
Avatarji
actually smiled. He was totally unfazed. It was as if nothing had happened.
The middle-aged
lady had a question. “ How come, when there was no crowd, you walked so
perilously close to the edge? It reminded me of the ponies we hire in the
hills. There are narrow mountain paths. On the one side is the steep mountain
face, and on the other extreme is the
edge of the precipice. It always fascinates me how the pony invariably chooses
the perilous path, often dislodging a
loose stone or two and you pray mentally you would not be hurtled to a violent
death by a precipitous fall into the void!”
Avatarji
laughed. “ The pony inspires me. I think the brave prefer a violent death to a slow
ignominious exit.”
I tried to
match his savoir faire. “There is no doubt that the mule is an ideal
model to follow.” Then I spoke my unspoken thought. ““Avatarji! Jokes apart, that
could have been a very nasty fall.”
Avatarji
grinned. “As it turned out, it was a good fall. You can see, not a scratch or
sprain and not the faintest possibility of a fracture.”
“The Lord be
praised!”
Avatarji’s
iconoclast spoke,” Why bother the Almighty? As a Saviour, the lady was enough.”
**********
Thursday, 3 July 2014
A Complete Package for Return of Kashmiri Pandits
A Complete Strategy for Return of Kashmiri Pandits
Monday, 12 May 2014
Humour at the Hustings
The elections that we saw this time around were one long laugh. Even those of us who are born sourpusses and cannot see the humour in a situation even when it is packaged by Raju Srivastava or Kapil Sharma and is accompanied by loud canned laughter will also agree that we have been witnesses to the ultimate comedy show bordering on farce.
Look at the way the BJP conducted its campaign.There was a single motif, the adulation of a single individual. Just as Sachin fans chanted “Sachin, Sachin!” at the time of his retirement, the devotees of the demi-god Narendar chanted “Modi, Modi!” even at the beginning of his campaign. The religious flavour could also be tasted in the “Namo, Namo!”mantra.
As the campaigning progressed, the managers got bolder and bolder. They presumed that “Ab ki baar Modi Sarkaar” (this time around, a Modi regime) was already a reality. Modi’s kurtas became smarter and smarter, his achkans got a designer cut and his body language spoke of a foregone victory. He told his mammoth audiences that they had tolerated the Congress for sixty years, this time around they should hand over the country in his charge for only sixty months and see the miracles that he would perform. It was as though if there were more time for the polling he would raise the ante and promise the moon even if they made him Prime Minister for only sixty minutes!
This was positive thinking at its best. A Stephen Covey or Shiv Khera would have nodded their sage heads in emphatic approval. By the time we went to the booths, Modi had convinced the entire nation about his magic Gujarat model of development. He made tall claims about the benefits of the Gujarat model. Strangely enough, many experts ( including the Nobel Laureate Amartya Sen ) differed from him and quoted chapter and verse to disprove his claims.
They asserted that Gujarat had always been a leader in the pace of economic growth and there was little evidence to prove that the pace had accelerated during Modi’s regime. In fact, 5874 farmers had committed suicide in the last one decade. This figure was published in the official report of the National Crime Records Bureau.Modi blithely dismissed this report as exaggerated and gave out that only one farmer had committed suicide. The status of women and children on the nutrition index was demonstrated to be very low. He dismissed the whole thing with a joke about Gujarati women not attaching importance to their physical beauty. He boasted of having provided employment to youth.Official statistics showed that several thousands of small enterprises had in fact folded up.
The extent of playing with figures bordered on the ludicrous. Modi claimed that in Vibrant Gujarat mahamela 2011, projects worth US $ 450 billion had been signed. The actual FDI flow into the whole country for 2010-11 was a mere US $ 30 billion and Gujarat’s share was a paltry 2.38%. Modi alleged that he had 2 million Twitter followers. Independent investigators found that only 10% of that number were genuine followers, the remaining 90% were a fabrication.
Modi’s realpolitik came to the fore in his treatment of the Lokayukta appointment. From 2003 to 2013, he did not permit the post to be filled up.He would not approve of the name suggested by the Chief Justice of Gujarat. Matters reached a point where he tried a daring coup by passing fresh legislation for the Lokayukta , by virtue of which he would decide who the Lokayukta would be and the said dignitary would not have jurisdiction over the misdeeds of the Chief Minister and his Council Of Ministers. It took the combined prowess of the High Court and the Supreme Court to upset his plans.
Modi is a former pracharak of the RSS and as such well versed in the art of using the language to achieve his political objectives. During the election rallies,he used the phrase Shehzada for Rahul Gandhi and not Yuvraj or Rajkumar. He knew that Shehzada would make him sound like a Muslim and revive the rememberances of Moghul princes like Salim and Aurangzeb. Rajkumar or Yuvraj would have evoked the racial memories of Hindu epic heroes like Rama and Bharata.
One of the hilarious episodes in the election related to the overwhelming demand that he apologize for the 2002 Gujarat riots. He was handicapped by the fact that Atalji had castigated him in no uncertain terms for violating his rajdharma. He repeatedly refused to express his regrets and when cornered took recourse to a simile by saying that we are saddened even when a puppy is crushed by our car. When some Muslims objected to being compared to dogs, he said that we Indians were very conscious of the rights of all forms of life and were pained even if we trampled an ant underfoot.
An interesting sidelight concerns the way Modi and Rahul managed their TV interviews. Modi had a pathological aversion to interviews. Perhaps it was the result of his earlier experience of 2008 when he was interviewed by Karan Thapar for CNN/IBN and took the umprecedented step of walking out in the middle of the interview when Karan starting putting the heat on him for the 2002 riots. He went even to the extent of cancelling a recent Facebook interview promised to Madhu Trehan. He finally surfaced on the India TV channel, where a patently partisan Rajat Sharma known for his Hindutva leanings gave him a long rope. He even allowed him to import a studio audience totally devoted to BJP and Modi and did not prevent them from breaking into thunderous applause at every response of Modi. The hand-picked Judge also made sympathetic noises and found no charge proved against Modi.
Rahul Gandhi , on the other hand, offered himself as a sacrificial goat at the blood-spattered altar of Arnab Goswami. As expected, Arnab made mincemeat of the young tyro and made him look a fool. His interview made him the favourite whipping boy of every anchor and commentator of the country. It took another interview by Ansari to somewhat redeem his reputation.
The Aam Aadmi Party unwittingly generated dollops of merriment in political circles. They were unable to grasp what kind of animal Arvind Kejriwal was. Many people started by believing all that Arvind stated. The AAP administered a high voltage shock to the entire political class by winning 28 seats in the elections to Delhi assembly.That is when the drama began.
Kejriwal started by refusing to form the Government , but the BJP and Congress raised such a shindy at his reluctance to assume office, that Arvind had to change tack . Having stated his gut feeling that he would not take the outside support of any party, he decided to see whether he could extract a written assurance from the two giant parties on a 16-point agenda. The BJP gave a verbal and the Congress a written assurance. Arvind then took the unusual step of going back to the voters to elicit their mandate. When he gathered that most people wanted to see him in office, he did so.
Arvind’s problem was that he gave categorical assurances and fixed unreasonably tight time frames for fulfilling them. He then unwisely started to implement the assurances overnight. In this he was egged upon by his political rivals.
Any fool could have told him that the Congress would pull out the rug from under his feet. When he tried to have his Jana lok Pal bill passed, both the Congress and BJP refused to give support and brought down his government. Then they went about the country tomtomming the lie that Arvind had found it impossible to govern and had run away from his responsibilities.
It was the strategy of his rivals that they would tie him down to Delhi and not let him spread the AAP virus in other parts of India. At best he would have time to put up candidates in a few urban centres.
By his resignation, Arvind belied their expectations. He toured the length and breadth of the country and put up 300 candidates. He went to Gujarat and bearded the lion in his own den. He said he would oppose Modi wherever he stood from. Narendar Modi took the highly unpopular step of throwing out party stalwart Murli Manohar Joshi from what was felt to be a safe BJP stronghold of Varanasi and filing his own nomination from there.
When Arvind dared project himself as his rival from Varanasi, Modi supporters tried all the tried and tested techniques of blustering and bludgeoning rivals. They organized black flag demonstrations, threw black ink and eggs at Arvind and his supporters, and roughed them up in many locations across the country. When questioned on these dubious fascist tactics, they alleged that Kejriwal was himself having these attacks organised, as he wished to remain in the headlines.
To top it all, a propaganda blitz was launched that Kejriwal was a highly ambitious person and he had resigned from thr Chief Ministership of Delhi with the sole objective of projecting himself as a Prime Ministerial candidate. Simultaneously, it was announced that surveys did not give Aam Aadmi party anything beyond 3 seats in Parliament, if at all they were able to open their account.
In between, there were sideshows like the SP alleging that Modi was a Hindu fanatic as he refused to wear the skull cap of the Muslims and Modi calling Netaji Maulana Mulayam .
Priyanka lashed out at her cousin Varun and Menaka came out like a tigress to defend her cub.
Sharad Pawar apologised to the Election Commission for having advised (in lighter vein, he claimed) to master the art of removing the indelible ink from their fingers so that they could vote from two different places.
Amit Shah apologised to the Commission for having threatened to take revenge upon the Muslims and saying he was only paraphrasing Barack Obama ‘s comment that one could best avenge oneself through voting.
To sum up, this huge farce which was supposed to be the harbinger of a new era in India’s political history has reduced itself to this. A 63- year old grizzly- haired almost- unmarried RSS pracharak who spent most of his life selling tea is declared by most pollsters to be a sureshot winner. He will easily trounce a 43 year young prince charming schooled in Harvard, Cambridge and Oxford possessing almost hereditary rights over the prime ministership of the country.Plus he has made an IIT alumnus former Additional Commissioner of Income tax a butt of national ridicule.
Let the dudes of Youngistan playing with their apps and gizmos put that in their pipes and smoke it!
*************************
The elections that we saw this time around were one long laugh. Even those of us who are born sourpusses and cannot see the humour in a situation even when it is packaged by Raju Srivastava or Kapil Sharma and is accompanied by loud canned laughter will also agree that we have been witnesses to the ultimate comedy show bordering on farce.
Look at the way the BJP conducted its campaign.There was a single motif, the adulation of a single individual. Just as Sachin fans chanted “Sachin, Sachin!” at the time of his retirement, the devotees of the demi-god Narendar chanted “Modi, Modi!” even at the beginning of his campaign. The religious flavour could also be tasted in the “Namo, Namo!”mantra.
As the campaigning progressed, the managers got bolder and bolder. They presumed that “Ab ki baar Modi Sarkaar” (this time around, a Modi regime) was already a reality. Modi’s kurtas became smarter and smarter, his achkans got a designer cut and his body language spoke of a foregone victory. He told his mammoth audiences that they had tolerated the Congress for sixty years, this time around they should hand over the country in his charge for only sixty months and see the miracles that he would perform. It was as though if there were more time for the polling he would raise the ante and promise the moon even if they made him Prime Minister for only sixty minutes!
This was positive thinking at its best. A Stephen Covey or Shiv Khera would have nodded their sage heads in emphatic approval. By the time we went to the booths, Modi had convinced the entire nation about his magic Gujarat model of development. He made tall claims about the benefits of the Gujarat model. Strangely enough, many experts ( including the Nobel Laureate Amartya Sen ) differed from him and quoted chapter and verse to disprove his claims.
They asserted that Gujarat had always been a leader in the pace of economic growth and there was little evidence to prove that the pace had accelerated during Modi’s regime. In fact, 5874 farmers had committed suicide in the last one decade. This figure was published in the official report of the National Crime Records Bureau.Modi blithely dismissed this report as exaggerated and gave out that only one farmer had committed suicide. The status of women and children on the nutrition index was demonstrated to be very low. He dismissed the whole thing with a joke about Gujarati women not attaching importance to their physical beauty. He boasted of having provided employment to youth.Official statistics showed that several thousands of small enterprises had in fact folded up.
The extent of playing with figures bordered on the ludicrous. Modi claimed that in Vibrant Gujarat mahamela 2011, projects worth US $ 450 billion had been signed. The actual FDI flow into the whole country for 2010-11 was a mere US $ 30 billion and Gujarat’s share was a paltry 2.38%. Modi alleged that he had 2 million Twitter followers. Independent investigators found that only 10% of that number were genuine followers, the remaining 90% were a fabrication.
Modi’s realpolitik came to the fore in his treatment of the Lokayukta appointment. From 2003 to 2013, he did not permit the post to be filled up.He would not approve of the name suggested by the Chief Justice of Gujarat. Matters reached a point where he tried a daring coup by passing fresh legislation for the Lokayukta , by virtue of which he would decide who the Lokayukta would be and the said dignitary would not have jurisdiction over the misdeeds of the Chief Minister and his Council Of Ministers. It took the combined prowess of the High Court and the Supreme Court to upset his plans.
Modi is a former pracharak of the RSS and as such well versed in the art of using the language to achieve his political objectives. During the election rallies,he used the phrase Shehzada for Rahul Gandhi and not Yuvraj or Rajkumar. He knew that Shehzada would make him sound like a Muslim and revive the rememberances of Moghul princes like Salim and Aurangzeb. Rajkumar or Yuvraj would have evoked the racial memories of Hindu epic heroes like Rama and Bharata.
One of the hilarious episodes in the election related to the overwhelming demand that he apologize for the 2002 Gujarat riots. He was handicapped by the fact that Atalji had castigated him in no uncertain terms for violating his rajdharma. He repeatedly refused to express his regrets and when cornered took recourse to a simile by saying that we are saddened even when a puppy is crushed by our car. When some Muslims objected to being compared to dogs, he said that we Indians were very conscious of the rights of all forms of life and were pained even if we trampled an ant underfoot.
An interesting sidelight concerns the way Modi and Rahul managed their TV interviews. Modi had a pathological aversion to interviews. Perhaps it was the result of his earlier experience of 2008 when he was interviewed by Karan Thapar for CNN/IBN and took the umprecedented step of walking out in the middle of the interview when Karan starting putting the heat on him for the 2002 riots. He went even to the extent of cancelling a recent Facebook interview promised to Madhu Trehan. He finally surfaced on the India TV channel, where a patently partisan Rajat Sharma known for his Hindutva leanings gave him a long rope. He even allowed him to import a studio audience totally devoted to BJP and Modi and did not prevent them from breaking into thunderous applause at every response of Modi. The hand-picked Judge also made sympathetic noises and found no charge proved against Modi.
Rahul Gandhi , on the other hand, offered himself as a sacrificial goat at the blood-spattered altar of Arnab Goswami. As expected, Arnab made mincemeat of the young tyro and made him look a fool. His interview made him the favourite whipping boy of every anchor and commentator of the country. It took another interview by Ansari to somewhat redeem his reputation.
The Aam Aadmi Party unwittingly generated dollops of merriment in political circles. They were unable to grasp what kind of animal Arvind Kejriwal was. Many people started by believing all that Arvind stated. The AAP administered a high voltage shock to the entire political class by winning 28 seats in the elections to Delhi assembly.That is when the drama began.
Kejriwal started by refusing to form the Government , but the BJP and Congress raised such a shindy at his reluctance to assume office, that Arvind had to change tack . Having stated his gut feeling that he would not take the outside support of any party, he decided to see whether he could extract a written assurance from the two giant parties on a 16-point agenda. The BJP gave a verbal and the Congress a written assurance. Arvind then took the unusual step of going back to the voters to elicit their mandate. When he gathered that most people wanted to see him in office, he did so.
Arvind’s problem was that he gave categorical assurances and fixed unreasonably tight time frames for fulfilling them. He then unwisely started to implement the assurances overnight. In this he was egged upon by his political rivals.
Any fool could have told him that the Congress would pull out the rug from under his feet. When he tried to have his Jana lok Pal bill passed, both the Congress and BJP refused to give support and brought down his government. Then they went about the country tomtomming the lie that Arvind had found it impossible to govern and had run away from his responsibilities.
It was the strategy of his rivals that they would tie him down to Delhi and not let him spread the AAP virus in other parts of India. At best he would have time to put up candidates in a few urban centres.
By his resignation, Arvind belied their expectations. He toured the length and breadth of the country and put up 300 candidates. He went to Gujarat and bearded the lion in his own den. He said he would oppose Modi wherever he stood from. Narendar Modi took the highly unpopular step of throwing out party stalwart Murli Manohar Joshi from what was felt to be a safe BJP stronghold of Varanasi and filing his own nomination from there.
When Arvind dared project himself as his rival from Varanasi, Modi supporters tried all the tried and tested techniques of blustering and bludgeoning rivals. They organized black flag demonstrations, threw black ink and eggs at Arvind and his supporters, and roughed them up in many locations across the country. When questioned on these dubious fascist tactics, they alleged that Kejriwal was himself having these attacks organised, as he wished to remain in the headlines.
To top it all, a propaganda blitz was launched that Kejriwal was a highly ambitious person and he had resigned from thr Chief Ministership of Delhi with the sole objective of projecting himself as a Prime Ministerial candidate. Simultaneously, it was announced that surveys did not give Aam Aadmi party anything beyond 3 seats in Parliament, if at all they were able to open their account.
In between, there were sideshows like the SP alleging that Modi was a Hindu fanatic as he refused to wear the skull cap of the Muslims and Modi calling Netaji Maulana Mulayam .
Priyanka lashed out at her cousin Varun and Menaka came out like a tigress to defend her cub.
Sharad Pawar apologised to the Election Commission for having advised (in lighter vein, he claimed) to master the art of removing the indelible ink from their fingers so that they could vote from two different places.
Amit Shah apologised to the Commission for having threatened to take revenge upon the Muslims and saying he was only paraphrasing Barack Obama ‘s comment that one could best avenge oneself through voting.
To sum up, this huge farce which was supposed to be the harbinger of a new era in India’s political history has reduced itself to this. A 63- year old grizzly- haired almost- unmarried RSS pracharak who spent most of his life selling tea is declared by most pollsters to be a sureshot winner. He will easily trounce a 43 year young prince charming schooled in Harvard, Cambridge and Oxford possessing almost hereditary rights over the prime ministership of the country.Plus he has made an IIT alumnus former Additional Commissioner of Income tax a butt of national ridicule.
Let the dudes of Youngistan playing with their apps and gizmos put that in their pipes and smoke it!
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